Trialist Tang Ping originally planned to take his severance pay back to China and open a barbecue stall. However, his extreme slacking was judged by a higher-dimensional cosmic civilization to be an absolute stationary variable that distorts the laws of causality, and he accidentally became bound to a quantum observer. Starting at Manchester United's youth academy, he doesn't even want to cross the halfway line, yet amid the wild speculation of renowned managers and players, he repeatedly scores miraculous, no-look goals by manipulating quantum probabilities. Faced with one challenge after another, from Champions League finals to the cyber metaverse and even interstellar dimensionality-reduction attacks, Tang Ping is caught in an epic tug-of-war between his desperate desire to lie low and his forced transformation into a creator god. This is an exhilarating masterpiece that blends higher-dimensional science fiction, quantum mechanics, and an unconventional underdog comeback!